Episode 8: Marrying the Family…The In Laws

September sees the start of wedding fair season and with those sultry summer nights leading to many marriage proposals, engaged couples everywhere will now be looking for ideas and inspiration to plan the wedding of their dreams in the year to come. However where do you draw the line when the wedding you want isn’t to your soon-to-be mother in law’s taste and what was your ideal wedding has now changed to becoming more like your mum’s?

As a wedding planner I am sometimes asked advice on awkward family situations when it comes to arranging seating plans, writing invitations and who should pay for what. So I felt in this month’s Butterfly Journal blog and podcast I would focus on relationships in two parts – the first focusing on the relationship you have with your soon to be in-laws.

Whilst creating a new family with your intended can be exciting, joining each others existing families can be challenging for some, particularly if there are differences around culture, religion and lifestyle – so what do you do?

Relationship counsellor Denise Knowles from Relate gives good advice in the eighth episode of the Butterfly Journal podcast but believes if you are entering a relationship where a mother and son are close, going in there with a view to being the person in the middle and ultimately the one who causes a wedge will only antagonise the situation. A more wiser solution would be to become friends with your mother in law, ask her advice on things and get her involved and you’ll find this will make the transition to accepting you in the family all the more smoother.

Regarding the wedding itself, couples should always be clear about what they want from the start by explaining to families what kind of wedding they want and what they would like them to do to be involved regardless of whether it’s a destination wedding or a more traditional one. Will they be able to contribute x or what is there opinion on trying to create y.

To hear Denise’s full interview which also covers eloping and dealing with step children head to the Butterfly Journal podcast at www.pierrecarr.com/podcast.

As always I would love to receive your comments about this or any of the topics we have covered so far.

Until next time Happy Planning!


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